Wally Waits
©2015
Rhoda Cope
seems to have had a happy marriage with Allen Waits from 1814 to 1832. Then her husband’s sudden death disrupted her
life. The loss of companionship was
compounded by the loss of financial security.
This is the story of Rhoda’s second marriage and her struggle to find
happiness again.
Allen’s death almost certainly forced
Rhoda to think about the long term needs for herself and for the future of her
children. As the mother of eleven
children, she would have naturally reflected upon her situation. Rhoda had several strengths. She was still young enough to attract the
attention of suitors since she was only 31 years old at the time of Allen’s
death. It seems, however, that her grief
prevented her from hastily remarrying.
Rhoda also had a farm. In that regard, she had a home that was paid
for. There were, however, strings
attached to the land. She could not
inherit the property herself. The land
legally became the property of her children.
The farm could thus be sold for the children’s benefit. This would require long-term bonds to insure
that the children would agree with the transaction when they became
adults. This obligation would last for
at least eighteen years because the youngest Waits child was a daughter who was
less than a year old.
There was an alternative option for
the family. This option was to lease the
farm until the children all reached maturity.
Then they could legally execute a deed disposing to the farm. The children would finally receive their
inheritance. It was this legal process
that clearly outlined the connections of all of the Waits children.
Rhoda’s daughter, Mary or “Polly,”
had married about age 15 to John D. Sanders, the oldest son of Drucilla Best
and George Woodard Sanders, a respected, well-to-do farmer. Mary and John opted to not make the journey
with John’s parents and siblings when the George took his family to the
northwest corner of Arkansas Territory in the fall of 1831. Surveyor’s field notes document George Sanders
living in Washington County on February 17th, 1832.
Mary and John Sanders opted to not
emigrate to Arkansas with John’s parents remaining in Jackson County for two more
years. They followed John’s parents to
Arkansas Territory about the fall of 1833, leaving Rhoda dependent on her
oldest sons, James, Beth and Allen Jr.
Two years later, John’s mother, Drucilla
Sanders, passed away on Nov. 17th, 1835. George Sanders left Arkansas Territory in
early spring on a journey back to northeast Alabama. One suspects that his purpose was courtship,
but he may have had business reasons as well. The trip took a couple of months, but George’s
arrival date is unknown. He had to have
arrived sometime in late spring because seasonal rains flooded creeks that
blocked roads.
George seems to have proposed to
Rhoda shortly after his arrival and she seems to have agreed without much delay. Their agreement was certainly made by early
June as will shortly be apparent. One
family story that survived until the late 1900’s is that George and Rhoda had
been lovers before marrying different mates. They then married following the deaths of
their respective spouses. The first part
of this story is patently in error as Rhoda was barely five years old when
George married Drucilla Best in 1805. Rhoda
knew George as a consequence of John and Mary’s marriage. George and Rhoda had certainly met and become
acquainted during their children’s courtship.
They would certainly have met at John and Mary’s wedding.
There is a gap of four years between
the death of Allen Waits and the marriage of these two parents. First of all, there is no hint that Rhoda was
attracted to George before her husband’s death.
But, she was apparently quickly and fully committed to marrying George because
she was nearly two months pregnant when she and George stood before the
minister. Rhoda’s head-strong nature
about getting married did not turn out well a second time.
Rhoda’s pregnant condition is based
on the birth of her first Sanders child, a son named Henry Newton Sanders. Since she had given birth to eleven children
in her first marriage, and all apparently healthy, full-term births, it is
expected that she would have another healthy, full-term delivery. It comes as a surprise to find that her first
child by George was born on March 23rd, 1837. This means that Rhoda must have become pregnant
with Henry about the middle of June 1836.
This is nearly two months prior to her marriage with George.
From the time of George’s arrival
back in Jackson County in the spring of 1836, few records shed light on
events. Family records claim that George
and Rhoda married on Aug. 9, 1836, the second Sunday of the month. A Sunday wedding implies that their marriage
was performed by a circuit rider.
No description of the wedding
survives. George most likely saw that the
celebration afterwards was a gala affair.
If George and Rhoda’s marriage was anything like his son Henry’s
marriage in 1856, there were a couple of days of eating and imbibing to mark
the occasion. In 1856, George’s new
daughter-in-law finally tired of their celebration and put her foot down after
three days in an effort to end the feasting and drinking.
Preparations for traveling to
George’s home in Arkansas commenced in earnest after the wedding. Rhoda had moved to Alabama only a few years
previously, so she knew what preparations had to be completed for the trek to
Arkansas. Possessions had to be packed
or disposed of. Rhoda had to plan meals
for a minimum of two months for at least a dozen people. She would decide which cooking pots would be
used nightly for preparing meals over an open fire.
George oversaw the purchase of wagons and the
examination of the teams of oxen to ensure that they could pull a wagon full of
clothing, food, utensils, furniture, etc.
The spinning wheel and dresser would make the trip. The mattresses would, too, but not the
home-made bed frames. Iron plow points
would be removed from plows to join the other tools in the wagons.
They could only take what they could
load onto the wagons. One of the pieces
that Rhoda insisted in bringing to Arkansas was her loom. This was probably the largest item they took.
Crops in the field had to be
harvested and then sold. Then one of the
most important tasks needing attention was dealing with the Waits farm. As long as the Waits family remained on the
farm, there was no need to take legal action.
But the widow and children were migrating westward. Because the father of the Waits household was
deceased, an agreement was needed for a local farmer to take over the farm. The Waits farm was not to be sold, but instead
leased out until the youngest Waits child either became an adult or
married. Only then could the children
collectively dispose of their inheritance.
The children gave John Sanders power of attorney to finally sell the
farm in 1848 after Matilda’s tragic death.
At last the
final packing and preparation was completed and George Sanders, his pregnant new
bride and the ten remaining Waits children left Jackson County bound for the
Arkansas frontier. It is said that the
caravan arrived in Washington County in the very new state during the first
snowfall of winter. The journey had
taken a long time and Rhoda was pregnant the whole trip.
Rhoda moved into George’s log cabin
previously occupied by Drucilla. The
house was built only five years earlier.
No description of the structure survives, but it surely was a two-pen
structure with a dogtrot between each pen.
George would build a framed house adjacent to the log house
probably during the 1840’s or the early 1850’s.
It was probably for Rhoda in an effort to keep her from separating from
him.
It is believed that Rhoda married George for
money and status. Well, she got the
status, but Rhoda must have been unhappy with her marriage almost from the
start. Unfortunately for her, however,
divorce was not an option. These were
only granted by the state legislature and her husband’s service as a
Representative effectively blocked that avenue.
George
Sanders was elected to the Arkansas House of Representatives for Washington
County on October 1st, 1838 in Fayetteville. The new state’s second legislative session
lasted from Nov. 2nd to Dec. 17th, 1838. George spent time in Little Rock, in all probability
without his wife. This freed George to
frequent the taverns in the state capitol where legislators bent elbows and argued
on behalf of their pet acts they were hoping to enact.
This was not George’s first drinking
session. Many of Arkansas’ candidates
for office are said to have tapped kegs of liquor in order to buy votes. The October 1st balloting in
Huntsville would have been such a time.
George would also serve in the third state
legislative session in November and December, 1840. During his absence from Madison County, Rhoda
gave birth to their second son, Washington Jefferson Madison DeKalb Cope
Sanders. This time he represented
Madison County that had just been carved out of Washington County. He was not re-elected in 1842, but returned
to Little Rock for the fifth General Assembly that lasted from Nov. 4th,
1844 to Jan. 10th, 1845. This
was his last term as a state representative.
Rhoda may
have been grateful that George was in Little Rock for each of the legislative
session George attended. Those couple of
months the legislature was in session would have meant that it was peaceful at
home.
During these years that George served
in public office, she had given birth to a son and a daughter who survived. George and Rhoda’s second child was a daughter
named Osina Malona Woodard Throckmorton Jackson Sanders. There were three more children who must have
been born between 1840 and 1846. They
were two girls and a boy who did not survive and were not named.
The settlement of the Waits estate in
1848 was possible because of one of the most tragic events possible. In the spring of 1848, Matilda Jane Waits was
the youngest child of Allen and Rhoda Cope Waits. As the youngest unmarried daughter at home,
she was the remaining roadblock to the estate’s settlement. She was born November 5th, 1831,
just a few months before her father’s sudden death. She was walking past the wash pot that sat
atop a log fire on a spring day. Always
cautioned to be careful around fires, Matilda’s dress hem ignited after a wind
gust blew it against some hot coals. The burning dress, the frightful cries and
the futile first aid effort afterwards were heart rending. Matilda’s death removed the remaining
blockage for settling Allen’s estate.
The 1840’s were a trying time for
Rhoda. During this decade, she suffered
the deaths of three infants and an almost grown daughter. Furthermore, James Cope Waits and Joseph
Waits went to Texas rather than remain close to their mother. Joseph told his daughter that he did not like
the strict discipline of his step-father. This was also the period when her marriage
completely broke down.
The lives of Rhoda’s two youngest
children suggest that they suffered during the early years of their lives by
living in a household with arguing and fighting parents robbed them of a sense
of security. Wash and Osina were victims
of their environment. The 1840-1845 years
of marriage to George were rocky ones given the repressed anger expressed by Rhoda’s
two youngest children.
Wash was cantankerous in his
disposition according to a nephew. At
one point, he caused a visiting half-sister to flee his home in tears after
only a half hour. Wash was described as a
“bad actor,” but his may also have been a reference to his Civil War service. It is believed that the recollection of an
uncle’s behavior was illustrative of temperament.
Osina, on the other hand, grew up
fearful of marriage after having seen her parents quarrel repeatedly. She was so fearful that she lived with a
pharmacist and bore him five children before finally marrying. The pharmacist father repeatedly reapplied
for Civil War pensions. In sequential
applications, he continuously back dated his marriage date to earlier and
earlier years, finally covering all of their children’s births with a
fictitious marriage date.
One cannot
say that there was a sexual conflict between George and Rhoda, but there are
certainly elements that support the idea.
Rhoda probably entered menopause about 1845. George may have turned to his slaves after
intercourse with Rhoda ended. This is
suggested by the 1850 Slave Schedule that lists the presence of several mulatto
children on the Sanders farm born after 1842.
These multiracial children may not be George’s offspring. They could have been purchased, but he is
recorded as being prolific father, having sired 20 children by his two wives.
George was independently minded and
maybe was ideologically incompatible with Rhoda. Rhoda’s father was very religious in his
beliefs and probably instilled a Christian belief of morality in his daughter. Rhoda was likely religious as well because she
named one of her Waits sons after a minor Tennessee evangelist. Furthermore, her father was asked frequently to
speak to misbehaving men and women in Warren County, Tennessee.
There is a story about George that seems
to date after his service as a state legislator. A descendant related an account about
concerned neighbors visiting George.
While the cause for the visit was not relayed, the story is telling in
many ways.
The visitors stopped their horses at
the edge of the corn field where George was pulling weeds. He stood up and walked over to the fence to
learn why these men wanted to talk with him, though I imagine he guessed. The visitors were upstanding members of the
local community and were ardent church-goers.
Just like Rhoda’s father activities,
these good brethren had come to talk to George about concerns worrying some of
his neighbors. The nature of George’s
behavior that was so worrying is not recalled, but George was of no mind to
bend to the community’s standards. When
the visitors raised the threat of turning George out of the local church,
George reportedly said, “They need not be concerned about turning him out. He would turn himself out.” That ended the
discussion. George Sanders then returned
to his weed pulling in the corn patch while the pious neighbors departed.
Rhoda was probably unsatisfied with
George’s behavior for years. But public
rebuke of her husband’s behavior may have been the final straw for her. She would have been greatly displeased to say
the least.
The 1850 census reports Rhoda as
still living with George W. Sanders. But
that is the same census that reports Isaac Murphy as living in Washington
County, when in reality he was in the California gold fields. So Rhoda could have been listed as still a
being a member of George’s household when in reality she had already moved out.
The 1860 federal census clearly shows
that she has moved out of George’s frame house and is living her son Newt
Sanders and his wife and child. There is
no way of telling exactly when she left George’s home. Such a move signaled her departure from high
society. She also left behind the help
of at least one slave woman.
In leaving her marriage, she
literally moved from light to darkness in the process of taking up residence in
a small log cabin. But, in this cabin
that was located in Beth Waits Hollow just south of the Dunaway Cemetery, she
found the peace and a measure of happiness that had been absent for nearly two
decades.
Only the rock cornerstones of the
cabin survive to mark its location. This
was her home for the remainder of her life.
Grandchildren, and some of her children as well, regularly checked on
her to insure that she had enough food, water and fire wood. She had several of her Waits children and a
couple of her Sanders children living close by to assist her.
The years of the Civil war were the
hardest for her because kin had to be careful about coming to Rhoda’s
house. She likely had to fetch her own
water, a daily chore. On 27 Oct 1862
that she got word that her husband had passed away of uremic poisoning. She might have traveled to the Wesley
Cemetery for his burial.
During the last years of the war,
wild animals became a threat in Beth Waits Hollow. At one point, Granny Waits had to “bar the
door” to protect herself from wolves according to an uncle of Clayton Eubanks.
Women, especially elderly ones, were
of little threat to combatants on both sides of the conflict. They may have been robbed of food and
livestock, but generally were not personally molested unless they were found
aiding soldiers. Rhoda had a son whose
farm was nearby. Because he had
Southern sympathies and hid in the forest in order to stay near his family,
Rhoda had to be careful about going to his farm. It was very dangerous for him to work on his
own farm, to be seen in the neighborhood or to visit kinfolk.
Union sympathizers finally observed
her son at his farm one evening. Word
was passed to a local quasi-legal Union militia that soon rode up and
surrounded her son’s cabin. William S.
Waits was shot down in the back yard when he ran out of his home in hopes of
reaching the underbrush. Rhoda probably
heard the gunfire that killed him. She
probably feared the worse had happened.
She probably helped prepare the body and assisted in taking it to the
Dunaway Cemetery for burial, chores she did not likely perform for her husband
a year or two earlier because his death was miles away according to the filing
of his probate.
Rhoda was recalled by the name of
“Granny Waits” in the neighborhood for over a century. Officially, she remained a Sanders and was
listed on the 1860 census as such. It is
possible that she began using her former married name late in life. She passed away on January 17th,
1868 in Newt Sanders’ home. Her burial in the Dunaway Cemetery is marked
by a casket-shaped stone laying on the ground. The Civil War had ended several years
earlier, so many of her neighbors and relatives would have attended. Close by is her son’s grave that is marked by
a broken sandstone slab similar to Rhoda’s.
A granddaughter
recounted in 1972 that her grandmother was buried adjacent to a son. The only child possible was William S. Waits,
her fifth offspring. Another stone of
similar material is next to these two graves.
Rhoda, even after her death, is surrounded by family.
